Thank you for all of the prayers and well wishes on Mother's Day. Yesterday was not only Mother's Day but Gideon's 5 month birthday. I had tried all day not to look at a calendar and tried to convince myself it was the seventh and not the eighth. The number eight has a great deal tied into such an innocent number. Refelctions of joy and loss and remembrance of a new beginning from biblical significance. On the day Gideon was born, Lance and I would say that life just seemed to make sense. That 8th day in December was one of the best days that we had ever experienced. We truly felt like life was beginning as a family. For three months, we relished our little guy and all that having him in our life had to offer and the new beginnings that were given everyday. On the 8th of March we were faced with another new beginning--a life without the little guy that we had loved before we even met him.
We had prayed for him and with hands on my belly while he was still in the womb for God's cover, protection and guidance. We had prayed a prayer over him shortly after birth declaring that he was God's and asking God to give us discernment and wisdom to raise him for His glory. So when we were given the chance to stand up during baby dedication yesterday, we were unsure of what we would do or say. I have never been to a dedication so I was unsure of what to expect. I knew that we had planned on participating when our pastor had brought it up at the Sunday service after his birth. But I wasn't sure how I would now participate. My baby had not only been given back to God but God had received him. He was now at home. After much thought and prayer, I decided that we didn't need to participate. There are things that I would love to say--many a repeat of words said on here but Mother's Day Baby Dedication was not the place. We have two beautiful new babies in our congregation and this day was for them and their parents. It was time to rejoice and give praise for the life that only God can give. Yesterday was a day of happiness and joy to two deserving women and their families. Simply put, God told me that it wasn't my time to speak yet.
But yes, yesterday was hard. Was it anymore difficult than any other day? I am not sure. I was blessed to be pregnant mother's day last year and I truly did consider that to be my first mother's day. I was the mommy to a growing baby who relied on me. I found him to be just as living when he was on the outside as I did when he was on the inside. I loved every part about being pregnant. I was in no rush to get him out. But when he was on the outside, others were able to enjoy him and I could enjoy physically getting to see him. I have shared the card given to me by my grandma but I also wanted to share something from a very close friend of mine who endured a similar situation.
What Makes A Mother
I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today
I asked, "What makes a Mother?"
And I know I heard him say
A Mother has a baby
This we know is true
But, God, can you be a mother
When your baby's not with you?
Yes, you can he replied
With confidence in his voice
I give many women babies
When they leave it is not their choice
Some I send for a lifetime
And others for the day
And some I send to feel your womb
But there's no need to stay.
I just don't understand this God
I want my baby here
He took a breath and cleared his throat
And then I saw a tear
I wish I could show you
What your child is doing Here
If you could see your child smile
With other children and say
"We go to earth to learn our lessons of love and life and fear,
but My mommy loved me so much I got to come straight here!"
I feel so lucky to have a Mom who had so much love for me
I learned my lessons very quickly
My Mommy set me free.
I miss my Mommy oh so much
But I visit her each day
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow is where I lay
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear
"Mommy, Please don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I am here"
So you see my dear sweet one
Your children are okay
Your babies are here in My home
And this is where they'll stay
They'll wait for you with Me
Until your lessons there are through
And on the day that you come home
they'll be at the gates waiting for you
So now you see
What makes a Mother
It's the feeling in your heart
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start ~Author Unknown
I had shared a picture with another friend that God had given me....
When I pictured coming into Jesus' presence, I could only see Him holding 3 month old Gideon. He was cradling him, gently singing and Gideon was looking at Him with a huge smile and the deepest look of love. He assured me that he had forgotten my sin and spoke so gently, "he has been waiting for you."
No comments:
Post a Comment