Wednesday night at home group is typically filled with good food and some of the deepest discussion over our current bible study. We just finished studying over Revelation and the coming of Jesus and now we are in Genesis. The first night in Genesis, we barely got past the first four words. We had a lot of discussion on different theories and then the second week we watched a video and explored the first four words even more. This week we placed the study on hold because three of our members were basking up the Florida sun and we didn't want to continue without them. Instead, we ate some great food and then had some fellowship. We thought that it was going to be a very light evening filled with relaxation and conversation. Our pastor had other plans--I am thankful that he did.
After pulling us in the living room, we gathered around and discussed what God was doing in our lives. We shared what we were waiting for and where we were along our journey. Dwayne asked the question of where we would be without the trials. Prideful. Self-centered. Spiritually immature. All of these plus more were given as we went around the room. I was moved, and I would have to say Lance was as well of a story of a couple and their new baby. It was exciting to see how God was orchestrating His plan throughout their lives--I hope to share more about that later. I chose to tell our story about going to Texas and our experience at church. I used an analogy to explain how I feel when it comes to missing Gideon, yet having faith that our Father has not set us on a path to destruction. This is the most simplistic analogy that was brought to mind a few days before. I explained that not having Gideon was like losing my left arm. Glory to God that I still have my right. I can no longer use both hands but praise Him that I can still use my right. I am right hand dominant. I do not have to learn how to write again! I can continue to reach for, hold and manipulate objects with the hand that I did 90% of those things with before losing the left. But there are times when I sure do wish I had my left. It would make things easier. I see other people with two arms and get to see the activities they enjoy because they have both. I can see how they go on without a concern of just how am I going to hold this or carry that. I can praise him for my right but I can still miss my left. That missing isn't a feeling of desperation or of hopelessness. It's simply of loss. I know that I will see Gideon in Heaven again. I know that he is playing with Jesus. I would hope that he is the same sweet 3 month old that he left me as but if not then I know he is 6 months old, learning to sit up on his own, rolling over and beginning to crawl. He also is getting to try some baby food. I can enjoy life with my husband. I can go on vacation. I can laugh at home group with great fiends but I still miss him. I still look down and wish that I had that left arm. I think that we often think that if you miss something then you aren't relying on God. I go back to my statement about Habakkuk, it's about the faith. I have faith that God has not set us on a path of destruction and although I don't understand and although I miss my baby, I will keep my eyes set on Him.
Thursday, after home group, a friend that attends with us text Lance and let him know how much our analogy helped him. He had been having some of the same struggles after his loss and our arm scenario really helped him to understand how he was feeling and what to do with that emotion.
I share this story, not to give you my simple analogy but to share what happens when we open up and give our testimony. People learn and grow from what you have to say. We do not always get to see what we have planted in others but if God puts it on your heart to share, then you better share because someone is needing to hear it--even if that someone is simply you. I think this was one of our deepest home groups. The more intimate testimony time gave us a look into one another's lives and we were able to see the great things that God was doing. I know that at least two families (ours being one of those) were affected that night by hearing another's story. Share your story.
No comments:
Post a Comment