Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Christ is my rock...



They were all baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea. They all ate the same spiritual food and drank the same spiritual drink; for they drank from the spiritual rock that accompanied them, and that rock was Christ.--1 Corinthians 10:2-4
Sometimes I hear a sermon and I can’t help but think, “where have I been?”  Have I not heard this presented this way?  I had heard the story, heard the preaching but never fully saw Christ in the story.  And this is just one of the reasons that I love our Epic series at church....
A couple of weeks ago, we had our sermon over the Battle at Jericho but my post today won’t really comment on that specific story but more so what was added in the end.  As pastor Alex was closing out, he reflected on Moses, as we had heard that story a week before.  He began talking about the rock.  Moses was in the wilderness and his people were thirsty.  They began questioning him and confronting him.  They were unhappy.  They wanted to know why he had led them there.  They wanted to go back to Egypt, to slavery or even just die at this point.  So Moses cried out to God and sought His help.  God told him to strike the rock once and water would flow.  Moses did as God commanded, striking the rock and then the water began to flow as God said it would.  You stroll over to Numbers 20 and you see the same story picking back up.  The people are cranky, moody, and forgetting where they came from.  Moses again goes to God but this time he was told to simply speak to the rock and the water will flow.  Picture yourself as Moses for a second.  You are doing what God asked you.  You are being obedient.  Yet it seems like every time you turn around, people are contemplating killing themselves because of your stellar leadership skills.  He had gone through this scenario before and here he was having to coddle the masses once again.  So he seeks God because that worked before and God tells him again to get water from this rock.  But this time God tells him to simply speak to the rock.  Moses, I’m sure in anger and frustration and remembering that previously when he struck this rock the water flowed, struck the rock again and this time, he struck it twice.  And for this very action, he was denied being able to enter the Promised Land.  
Okay, okay...but where is Christ in this?  It’s just a rock.  God was just challenging him.  He failed.  And here we learn a story about what happens when we fail to listen and obey God.  You may get what you want in the short-term but you miss out on the blessing in the long term.  Right?  Is that not what you were taught?  Hmm.  You mean to tell me there may be more?   That this isn’t just a symbolic story to teach me to be obedient and follow the commandments??  Surely you jest? 
No there’s an immense more of teaching that comes from this story.  There are countless studies that go in great detail of the rock, its wordage in the old testament and even the placement of where the rock was throughout the two strikings.  For example, there is thinking that the rock was at a lower elevation during the first striking and higher at the second, symbolizing Christ’s lowering of Himself during His first coming and then Him being elevated during His second.  This is also looked at with the wording.  In Exodus, the word used is tsur, which simply means boulder but in Numbers the word Sela is used and this means exalted rock.  
But more important than even the above “rock” study is this simple statement....Christ is that rock that Moses is striking.  That rock is the same rock Paul speaks of in Corinthians.  Moses striking the rock symbolizes Christ having to be stricken in order for the water of life to flow from him to us.  And like the rock, Christ doesn’t have to be struck again.  That battle has been won.  And now, like the rock in Numbers, since Christ has been struck we simply need to just speak and ask Christ to release his living water on us.  
That’s it.  We just have to ask.  Because our savior died for us, because he was beaten, abused, crucified and died for our sin, we now only have to ask.  Ask!  It seems so simple.  For Moses, it was too simple.  I imagined he feared failure and more ridicule.  But God has promised us time and time again and we see it here, all the way back to Numbers, that all we have to do is ask God for his living water to fill us.  Just ask.  
Lord, I thank you for taking my place.  I thank you for dying my death.  i thank you for creating a rescue plan that allows a sinner like me to be filled with your holy living water and that because of You I now have life.  I now have an eternity with you.  I exalt you, Lord and your love endures forever.  You have been here since our day one and before.  You have always had a plan for us and I thank you for this study to get to know that plan more but most importantly to get to know you more. 

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Utterly meaningless....


Ecclesiastes!!
1:1-11

The words of the Teacher,[a] son of David, king in Jerusalem:
“Meaningless! Meaningless!”
    says the Teacher.
“Utterly meaningless!
    Everything is meaningless.”
What do people gain from all their labors
    at which they toil under the sun?
Generations come and generations go,
    but the earth remains forever.
The sun rises and the sun sets,
    and hurries back to where it rises.
The wind blows to the south
    and turns to the north;
round and round it goes,
    ever returning on its course.
All streams flow into the sea,
    yet the sea is never full.
To the place the streams come from,
    there they return again.
All things are wearisome,
    more than one can say.
The eye never has enough of seeing,
    nor the ear its fill of hearing. 
What has been will be again,
    what has been done will be done again;
    there is nothing new under the sun.
Is there anything of which one can say,
    “Look! This is something new”?
It was here already, long ago;
    it was here before our time.
No one remembers the former generations,
    and even those yet to come
will not be remembered
    by those who follow them

There is nothing like a trip to your previous place of employment one week post quitting for a scripture like this to ring loud and clear.  As i ventured back today with Gabe to say hello to missed friends, deliver a bribe for reference letters in the form of cookies and sign off on charts, I wrestled with my new role there.  Can i go back to Dr. Wade’s office or to Kristin’s?  Is it okay for me to stand here?  Should I be in here?  It was all so strange.  This past week I have struggled with wanting to call and check on patients.  What was the outcome of that test?  Did so-and-so get in to see the Neurologist?  What did he say?  What did the labs say?  So many times, I have wanted to pick up the phone and text or call then I remember that it’s not my job anymore.  I left my responsibilities in very capable hands but from the times of a floor nurse, I still ache for the follow up.  
The place was humming.  The parking lot was full.  My laptop had been placed up front at the nurse’s desk.  My rooms were filled with Kristin’s patients and even my name had been removed completely from the tracking board and Kristin’s rooms were now labeled 1-4 instead of a measly 1-2.  I had easily been replaced.  Let me stop you there as you begin to type your condolences, your sappy statements of “no one can replace you,” and your “you have new journeys ahead.”  Because let me assure you that I am not sad to be gone or even to be replaced.  Sure, I miss my co-workers and my favorite patients but let me explain how this trip and the reminder of Ecclesiastes is a good thing....
With or without me, work will still go on.  i am thankful that the office is running so well, that Dr. Wade has such an efficient NP to absorb all of the extra patients she will now be seeing.  I am blessed with this image.  I have heard over and over from loved ones and friends (which is a redundant statement) that they “are the only ones who know how to do it.”  Or, “this place won’t be the same without me.”  “No one else can do what I do.”  I did not feel this way and actually it was one reason I felt okay with leaving--because I knew they would be fine without me.  There will always be someone else to pick up the slack, to learn your job, to do what you do and at times–do it better!  

As I remember and read Solomon’s writing that there is nothing new under the sun, I am encouraged again that I made the right choice.  You see, this job was what I was using to define me for so long.  I had worked all throughout my college career with the goal of being a nurse practitioner.  And for 6 short months at the very start of my career, I had made it.  I was a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner.  I was it.  But in March of 2011, I was shown that there is more to life than our career, money, home, car and our storybook family photo.  There are these things, called a spouse, called children, called Jesus.  They have faces.  They are real.  They deserve me.  And at times, with the exception of Jesus, their time with us is sometimes fleeting.  And how much was I sacrificing to be this PNP, that I wasn’t truly being the person I was made to be right in the center of our own home.  10 hours a day, 5 days a week (sometimes less--sometimes more depending on the season) i gave away to this job that could easily be done by someone else.  But the role God gave me in the home, that is mine.  Glorifying God, that is mine.  These are the things that matter.  
So seeing that board and watching another provider go into what was once “my room” was merely a pat on the back from Jesus reminding me that all is well and I can happily and confidently move on and not the punch in the chest it could have felt like, had I not had Him at my side.  Anyone can fill my role as a PNP, but only I can be the wife and mother I am made to be.  
I thank you, Lord for giving me this month off to really enjoy my role, enjoy my family.  I thank you for this time to connect more with my husband and my son.  I thank you for providing a job that will place me at home more and away less.  I thank you for designing me in such a way that through being a mom and being a wife, I can bring you glory.  I thank you for all things, because you are my source of all things. 

Sleepy daddy but he was always there to hold and rock the colicky child in the first few months or provide mama with nourishment during her late night feeding frenzies;-)  Thankful for them both!

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

9/23/13 (Day16) fear not...

As I roll over and over the two wonderful opportunities for employment God has placed in front of me and wonder how I could ever decide, I read my verse of the day:
John 14:1
 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me."
Oh that Jesus, He is always on time. I needed this. Through this fast, He has continued to be faithful. He has taught me new things, strengthened my faith in Him and helped me find rest in His sovereignty. As I make my way to land exactly where he wants me, I pray that my heart will be open and my eyes set on Him so that my will will be His will. 


My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.”
I included this verse because it was just referenced in our Noah sermon when comparing the stalls/or rooms Noah made for man and the animals. I include it because I love repetitiveness. I love when things tie up. I love seeing something one day and seeing it again in another form another day.   I think that's why I love songs that include psalms so much. 
But here I include it because it ties up with where I am. I can hear God telling me not to fear because He already has my place picked out.   He is preparing it and He will show me the way. 

Thank you, Lord for your provision. Thank you for being a God who is always on time. I love you and I will not move until you tell me. I love you, Lord. I thank you for all that you do and for who you are. 



9/12/13 Day 5...Keep your confidence (in God–not yourself!)


September 12, 2013
Verse of the day:
Hebrews 10:35-36
Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.

After a rough interview, a lot of uncertainty and a restless night, I found myself praying for answers.  I needed God to give me some reassurance, some direction but most of all some peace.  I had left a job interview and felt like I was immensely under qualified because after four years of being a PNP, I was going to be required to do things that I had only read about.  Although these things were not a deal breaker and it was discussed that I could be taught, I questioned my talents and abilities.  I questioned whether I was even to remain a PNP.  I had been spoiled in my current position, being able to turn away the too complex or those that by law I could not write the needed medications for.  I have not been required to suture, staple, cast and in this new role, I would be.  I also thought my daily workload was going to double.  So when I woke, I prayed for God to help me.   I prayed for him to guide me.  I didn’t know where to turn to in my Bible and I didn’t want to make up something in my head.  I really needed his guidance and that was all that would calm me.  I have been doing my daily verse since Sunday night so I prayed that my answer, my fulfillment would be found there.  I prayed that whatever I was needing, I would find in that verse. I prayed it would not be something vague or too abstract, like a “you are holy” or “He is holy.”  I needed something straight and to the point that didn’t take much thought.  My brain was spent.  Then there it was, “do not throw away your confidence.”  Those words were all that I needed at 640 this morning as I was struggling with my career choice and what I have spent the last 5 years doing.  I am a great PNP.  I love my job.  My patients love me.  I give excellent care and more so, I know my boundaries–which I thinks makes me an even better provider.  I do not know these things he was wanting me to do because they had not been required or needed of me, not because I was incapable of learning them.  Much like working on a long term care rehab unit, my IV skills were not greatly utilized so transitioning to the NICU and to a med/surg floor took some time to get back into the swing of things I was taught during school.  This was what I needed to get me through the day.
I couldn’t really explain it but I still didn’t feel a green light from God on this job.  The doctor had even told me that he was a Christian and that this clinic was his ministry but something just wasn’t setting right.  Throughout today I have wrestled in whether I will be able to find where I am supposed to be or will I have to just get in where I can.  So tonight as I was diving into my blog session and reading Hebrews–the before and after the verse of the day, I was shown what these verses are really talking about.  
“Therefore do not throw away your confidence...”   Do not throw away your confidence, your boldness in God.  He is still the same today as He was yesterday and as He will be tomorrow.  Though your circumstances may change, though you may see blessing and favor to those around you, God is still the same.  Your reward has not changed.  
“For you have need of endurance..” ...some versions say perseverance and some say patience but they all relate.  To endure or persevere, I must be patient.  I must do His will, continue to be faithful in this walk and He will give me what He promised.  He has promised an opportunity and I will remain bold in Him and wait patiently on him.  I will endure this race.  
I thank you God that you are a God who answers prayers.  This morning when I needed you so desperately, you came to my rescue.  I thank you for the job that you blessed me with over these past 4 years.  I thank you for the job you are sending my way even when I cannot see it.  Jesus, your timing is perfect and I know you are sovereign.  I continue to pray that your will be mine and for my acts to align.  I pray that when I am to move, when I am to accept a job, you will tell me “yes.”  Lord, although you can make all things good and you can bring about things out of poor choices, I do not want to be where you do not want me.  i thank you for this insight in remaining bold in you, in who you are and I thank you for the reminder to be patient.  I love you, Lord.  There is none above you.  My soul cries out to you.  Only you can satisfy.    

I made this lab coat in pomegranate in honor of graduating!!

9/13/13 Day 6...Holy humor


September 13, 2013

Last night as I was explaining my verse, how it applied and how badly I needed it, I told Lance that same story about my morning experience and how I was praying to not receive anything vague or abstract like an “I am Holy” or “you are holy” verse.  Well, this morning I woke, pulled out my phone and this is what I saw...



I immediately began laughing, nudged Lance and told him the hilarity of the humor God contains.  It’s almost as to if He tells me, “yesterday you were down and you needed something quick and direct but today I am going to give you that thing you didn’t want so that you can learn from it.”  I know that every verse is holy.  I know every verse is important.  I know there is wisdom from every verse.  But yesterday, I just needed that quick pick me up.  Today, he gives me the lesson.  


Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” --1Peter 13-16
My take away from today’s verse and how it applies to me and how if only I would take the time to search the context and spend time in relationship with Christ, I would have seen how this Holy passage applies to me and our situation....
This verse is describing a time of preparation for the coming of Christ and describing a time of living holy because God has made us holy through Christ.  But this is how I needed it...
Prepare your mind for action:  Get ready.  Be prepared.  Roll up your sleeves.  
Be sober minded:  Put your game face on.  Get serious.  
Set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought:  Look to Jesus alone.
Do not conform to your former ignorance: You have changed.  You are a new creation.  
....so all together with the verse of the day, this is what I see...
It’s time to get ready and to be prepared.  Like a man who is going into battle, so must I roll up my sleeves, take this seriously and prepare for what God will have me to do.  My hope is to be fully in Christ.  Not only is He the giver of salvation but all good things come from HIm.  It is not man, nor my abilities that will get me into the place He wants me to be but it will be God alone.  Obedience can of course mean outward acts but it can also mean the obedience of my heart and my trust.  I  must continue to lean on Him and wait on Him and trust in Him.  I cannot return to my time before Christ where I had little hope and felt as though I were doing it all on my own.  I have to remember that He is my identity and through Him alone I will be placed where he calls.  And lastly, the holy verses.  God is holy.  He is set apart from us.  Though created in His image, we have separate characteristics in our being and in our perfection.  But God being holy, calls us to him to be holy also.  He does not use his holiness as a shield to keep us out.  He created a door through Jesus to allow us to come in, to draw near to us and to be holy, or set apart, with Him.  So, how does this apply in my job search?  Easy, God has set me apart.  He already has the perfect position lined up for me.  He has a plan.  I am one of his children, one of his chosen.  I cannot doubt His goodness or the blessings he has given.  I must be holy as he is holy, in my thought and action. 

Lord, I thank you for having a sense of humor.  It may be in these times more than others that I take most delight in you.  You are amazingly amazing and you never cease to awe me.  I will love you all of my days.  Thank you for this reminder that I am set apart and when I doubt my belonging, I doubt myself and my skill, you are there to pick me up.  You remind me with a gentle verse that I belong to you.  You have made me perfect and you will help me find my way.  I love you, Lord.  Thank you, Jesus.

9/18/13 (Day11)...out of ashes...


Tonight as I think about what to write, I am encouraged to be in this fast.  My relationship with Christ has been strengthened and my reliance on Him is at this all time high.  In community we were discussing God’s provision and how sometimes we want something so badly that we can see it play out and a) we just take it even though it’s not best for us or b) we don’t get it and we can’t understand why God isn’t giving us what we want.  I think we have all been in these situations.  Of course, Lance and I prayed and pleaded for God to let us keep Gideon here with us and it is still very difficult for us to wrap our fleshly, mortal minds around that loss but still we know that it is for the glory of God.  And we have definitely done things or bought things that necessarily were not in our best interest but God allowed us to do these things even though had we been perfect, he would not have had to teach us the lesson the hard way.  Here is my job situation playing out under the provision and supervision of God.  he has brought me many opportunities.  Let’s start with my own clinic.  That has definitely been thrown in the ring of possibilities on more than one occasion but God has shown me that this isn’t where I am supposed to be.  My end goal is not to be a proud owner of a clinic working 4-5 days a week, staying late to finish up with a list of patients a mile long that have been assigned to me.  So that one is cleared.  i could have chosen to follow that pursuit, shell out all of my savings then wasted all of that time away from my family and built something that I never really wanted within the desires of a heart for God.  Second, I have been given the opportunity to take a job with doctors whom I admire and adore greatly but again, the travel would be too great and would again defeat my purpose as well as God’s.  So that brings us to my last interview.  I think one reason I was so distraught after this meeting was because I truly thought this was where I was supposed to be and God wasn’t giving me a green light.  If anything, He was heavily placing it in me to walk away from the deal.  But I could picture it.  I could picture the story, the glory playing out.  Here was this doctor, whom had it not been for delivering Gideon on the day I did in the hospital where I was, I may have never met him.  I could see God bringing him to us that day only for us to tell of the story where I later went to work for him and pursued him because of the job offer many years before.  It was perfect.  This man was a Christian.  His clinic was his ministry.  Why wasn’t it clicking?  Why did I feel so discouraged after the interview?  Why wasn’t God telling me this was the one?  Thankfully, I have been in this fast during this time and God has continued to reveal Himself to us and He has shown us that this isn’t where i am to be.  he has something better.  I’m not saying He will not place me in a Christian environment but I think about us being the light.  We, like Jesus, are here for those that are not saved.  Don’t get me wrong, I need my Christian friends to keep me accountable, give me Biblical advise and to fellowship with but we are to be that light on a hill.  And if we recluse ourselves to the church and do not do any outreach then how are we spreading the good news?  I think about a pastor’s words of when a man comes up to him and says, ‘I think I’m going to quit my job and become a pastor,’ he instinctively wants to yell “NO.”  We can’t all be pastors.  We need to be the light in our place of business.  Our co-workers need to be saved.  Our patients, our clients, our patrons need the gospel.  I am not saying that this doctor doesn’t use his clinic to reach those patients or even staff that are not saved but what I am saying is that there is definitely one person there who is already doing that.  And perhaps God wants to place me where His word is not being spread.  There is of course more to that meeting that God showed me to let me see that it’s not all rainbows and roses and I am thankful that He lets those things come to fruition without me having to make a mistake.  
I can’t even begin to show you completely how much God’s hand has been in this whole situation.  I try to explain but I can’t convey how powerful and leading He has been.  From one opportunity to the next, he has offered a hope within us until the right thing comes along. He has shown us why something is not right (now quit coveting it).  i will try to simply explain.  All of my past interviews have been established through word of mouth alone.  “So and so said that you were looking for a job.  She said you were superb, could we meet or could you send me your resume?”  Or it was my mouth telling the situation to a friend at lunch and then being presented with what seemed like a dream come true.  Then there is tomorrow’s job.  I received a call about the job I am interviewing for tomorrow last Monday and I was able to speak to the recruiter on Tuesday.  I had submitted an application for a generic job posting that stated they were looking to hire a midlevel provider for the ED.  I had no idea if the position was urgent care/fast-track specific and more so if it was even pediatric specific.  But I applied and even followed up the application with a phone call/voice mail to the recruiter.  This was probably three weeks ago.  I never heard a reply so I figured I didn’t qualify for what they were looking for and even the next day after submitting my info, I could no longer find the job posting on the company’s site so I thought it must have been filled.  I had written it off.  But last week, I was able to speak to the recruiter, discuss the job in some detail, and make sure I would even qualify for what they were needing since I was not acute care certified.  He informed me I was a good fit and that I should be hearing back by the end of the week or the end of the following week from the actual director of the peds ED.  What kind of timeframe was that?  ...maybe the end of this week, maybe the end of next.  I didn’t put much stock into it and anyways, I had my glory bringing, perfect job interview to prepare for.  So Wednesday when I went into the interview, God had already given me the provision of two possible opportunities but I was only focusing on the one that I thought was right.  Thankfully, he showed me the next day through scripture that I had nothing to fear and I needed to continue to be patient and wait on him.  And sure enough, I spoke to the ED director Friday night and had a good chat and felt like the job was mine for the taking if it suits me.  Since the phone interview, we have planned to meet tomorrow for an in person meet and greet to discuss responsibilities and financials followed by a lunch to get to know some of the team.  But again, doubt is setting in.  In the past job and in the potential of this one, my main concern has been staying within the confinements of my scope of practice.  Advanced practice nursing is different from the role of the physician in many ways but in the most basic way, the APRN has varying tracks of education.  For example, I am not acute care certified.  I am primary care pediatric specific.  Now, I can work an urgent care setting because the majority of those cases are basic walk-in/sick complaints.  For example, I phone interviewed and had a job at Dallas Children’s if I wanted it that would be for the Pediatric Fast track/urgent care section of the ED.  I would be seeing non-emergent, non-acute patients only.  Any procedures or possible admits would go to the emergency side.  Within this role, I would be completely within my scope--although simple laceration repair is within my scope--they just choose to keep the more time consuming patients on the ED side.  (I did not take this job because I do not want to move from my family and yet again it was something God allowed me to pursue but showed me that it wasn’t the right fit.)  So back to the differences...I can not administer acute care meds or do acute procedures like thoracotomies, placing central lines and the such because my education doesn’t cover that scope.  It doesn’t matter if I were trained properly through continuing medical education or by the physician on the floor standing next to me, my certification does not cover acute care.  I would have to go back for more structured course work and then test for acute care certification in order for me to legally do those things.  We are not allowed to simply be “street smart.”  Whereas physicians are more streamlined and can really rotate within settings and their residency and fellowships really set them apart.  (I’ll mention here also that an acute care provider cannot flop to primary care without certification either because the skills required are different within that role.)  Now this position is a relatively new one.  They have a new ER opening in August of next year and just recently has the hospital allowed the mid level more freedom on less acute patients.  They do have one PNP but she does almost everything the physician does within that role.  She is acute care certified so that is all within protocol and standards of care for her.  But there lies some concern in me that I will again be faced with being asked to do things that are outside of my scope like I was in my last interview.  And that has really been building up in me.  But today, God brings me another unexpected phone call.  This time it is from another doctor’s office in Tulsa who heard I was looking for something part-time and they are interested and would like to meet with me as soon as possible.  So, God gave me another interview for Monday.  This interview, like the meet and greet tomorrow, should be more relaxed as it is in the evening over dinner at a local restaurant nearby.  I don’t know if the job tomorrow will be a good fit.  I do not know if the job on Monday will be the one He has for me.  But I do know that He is showing me that He is taking care of me.  I can go into my interview tomorrow with more confidence because I know I have something else lined up for Monday if this isn’t the right place.  I do not have to jeopardize my licensure just because I need a job.  I do not know what God holds in store for me but I know He has a plan.  I am thankful for this time of fasting so that in this life decision, I can really be open and receptive to where it is He wants me to be.  Although sometimes I do wish He would just show me and give me the job, I know that He too wrestles with my flesh.  I have needed to walk through these doors, hold these conversations and interviews in order for my flesh to not crave what I thought I was missing.  Does that make sense?  I was discussing with Lance tonight about how God definitely lets us do things and even presents opportunity that isn’t in our best interest.  And often it is because, our flesh is so weak and had he not allowed it to happen or not allowed the exchange to take place, we might be constantly questioning the goodness and sovereignty of God by questioning if we are really where we need to be.  Unfortunately for lack of better words, God sometimes has to physically and emotionally show us that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.  But thankfully, he is loving enough to not leave us there.  

That was a very long reflection and I will close with the verse of the day and how it relates:
But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God. –Acts 20:24

That’s it, Jesus.  It has nothing to do with me.  I pray that you will place me in a role where You will be the most glorified.  Lord, that is all I want.  I have sought to be closer to home and have more time at home because You have told me this is your will.  You have laid out the design through Eve for me to be the mother, the homemaker, the caregiver.  And it was You, Lord, who called me to leave my job and seek employment closer.  So whether the glory comes through my job away or through my role at home, my desire is that you receive it all.  Through me, your light will shine.  Through me, people will see the gospel.  Through me, your love will be made known.  You are truly all that matters.  I love you, Lord and I thank you for all of this opportunity you have been sending my way.  I pray for the right position, for the right fit.  I pray for the patience, the endurance to wait on you and the ability to discern which place you would have me to go.  

Sometimes we think of God's provision merely in the tangibles: money, children, jobs, homes but sometimes God's provision is simple– His provision in Him.  This baby has multiplied the relationship that we have with Christ.  We are now more dependent on Him than we have ever been.  For us to be in Him and not the world, is all He wants.  A relationship.  A friendship.  Have you talked to your friend today?

9/19/13 (Day12) I do...


9/19/13

Today is Lance’s and I’s 4 year wedding anniversary.  I am always thankful for another year that God has allowed me to have him in my life.  I am always thankful that our covenant with God has proved to be strong.  i am always thankful for the love that Christ has shown to us so that we know how to love one another.  It has been yet another crazy year for us.  
A few perks and changes over our last year.... we sold a house and moved back from Muskogee.  we celebrated our first son’s 2nd birthday and our littlest’s 1stsock monkey style:-)  we were so blessed to have him here and to have so many friends and family members here to celebrate his life with us.  we changed churches and became members at the Church.  we joined a whole new community group with people we didn’t know but came to find out that we had similar friend circles.  lance quit his job to pursue a degree in nursing to make his way to be a DNP.  he finished one semester of pre-req courses and is doing well in this fall of science classes.  I gave my notice and potentially have a few opportunities lined up.  
I had originally taken off these three days (Wed-Fri) to go to a children’s conference at Mercy Children’s in Kansas City but Lance had since quit his job and enrolled in school so I knew he wouldn’t be able to attend with me and I didn’t want to go alone so my plans changed.  I decided to just keep the three days off though because I had the time to take plus it was our anniversary month!  I didn’t think that I would have a job interview on my anniversary that i would need to be off work for.  But that is what I did today.  I met with the director of the Peds Emergency Center at St Francis and then went to eat with a few other members of the team afterward.  It was enjoyable.  I was nervous but not like before.  There was no unsettling within me.  The interview/discussing of requirements went well and I felt like I could definitely do what he was needing but would need some training in some areas.  But the lunch was probably what sealed the deal for me.  Another doctor and the other PNP accompanied us for lunch.  They were all like family.  Joking, laughing, and just being friends.  i didn’t feel any of the awkwardness that comes sometimes when being in a social situation with your boss as well as with a potential new hire.  I loved how close they were.  I had been searching for that true team concept and it felt good to find it.  I really felt like even though I have the title of mid-level, I would be treated as an equal team member and I could see it because the woman sitting across from me was herself a mid-level and she wasn’t be treated any differently.  She also didn’t strike me as the type of person to let someone treat her differently.  I left ready to take the job.  the thoughts floating through my head and aching to be blurted out–where do I sign??  But I didn’t say it.  I didn’t ask.  I asked a more reserved of, “what’s next?”  The doctor next to me answers, “next, you come and work with us.”  Ah, the words “with us” and not “for us.”  I love that slight distinction but if only it were that easy to just come.  The director responded that he would e-mail me later this evening or tomorrow.  I received the email this evening that he was officially extending me a contract and I should be receiving it in the mail within a few days.  
Now while I am ecstatic about this opportunity and the chance to really change up my skills, I still have one more interview in the works that is scheduled for Monday.  I will still go to this with an open mind and heart and let God guide me to where i am to be.  I am actually looking forward to it–yet nervous still!  
The ED position is a developing one.  There are a lot of uncertainties yet there are some general themes.  For the most part, i will be working evenings, 108 hours a month is considered full time and I will have great benefits.  108 hours–that’s 27 hours a week!!  When making my checklist with God, I never would have thought to ask him for this.  Sure, I asked for part-time and great pay so I could pay for my insurance myself as well as all of my continuing education and licensure or I asked for full time but with a built in half day or full day off but never did I think that this is what He might have for me.  I would get to spend all morning and afternoon with Gabe, go to work in the evening a little after lance came home from school and get off in time to get into bed early enough to repeat the next day plus develop a whole new set of skills and get amazing benefits.  I never could have dreamed up such provision.  But thats’s the wonder of God.  His plan, although I couldn’t see it a month and a half ago, or even 3 weeks ago when I was bidding on another job, is far better than anything we could conceive.  But again, I do not know what He has in store for me on Monday night but I can’t wait to see!!    Glory to God in all that He does...for the waiting, the testing, the building of my faith..glory to God alone.  

Verse of the Day: 
Those who pay regard to vain idols forsake their hope of steadfast love. --Jonah 2:8
When we begin to search and seek after our own wants and fleshly desires and give up those that God desires for us, we too give up something more splendid, more beautiful than anything that we could have dreamed up.  I think my blog of just my experiences today mesh well with this story.  In seeking the part-time clinic job, i could have missed the full-time with less hours, more pay and better benefits job.  You can use this verse in many ways.  Why settle for the pond, when God is trying to give you the ocean.  But more importantly, when we place our hope in idols, we are destined to be let down.  These things can’t reciprocate the love that God can.  We will continue to feel lonely, lost, neglected.  We will continue to put out our money, our time, our trust, only to end up broke, tired and betrayed.  When we trade in Jesus for an idol, we surrender an everlasting love and joy for a fleeting good time.  Jesus is the definition of love.  And again, the image that I hope to have for my marriage for many more years to come.   


I do.  I will.  

  

The battle has already been won...

Last night we broke our fast.  Facebook returned and we posted and gawked at the strolling screen til our eyes burned... then we returned to the land of the living.  We weren't quite prepared to what that first night post fast was to bring.  As I reviewed my paperwork for the hospital, (oh yeah, I took the ER job--was there ever any doubt?!?) I became quite upset and anxious.  The wording was so that it appeared that i would not qualify after all for the position.  What were we to do?  it was too late for me to text or call anyone and ask about the dilemma.  I had to wait.  But I'm not a good, quiet waiter.  I'm a spill my guts, state all my fears and maybe even cry it out kind of waiter.  And so I did.  And so my husband got to hear it all.  As he tried to study, I repeatedly interrupted him...."and see this...and this...it says this...how can I....this is not me..."  Ugh, exhausting.  I read my verse, which was new for the day and I got nothing.  After a night of tossing and turning, waking up to the fear of having to find another job after I thought this was all taken care of, I woke up for good just plain worn out and doubting.  I looked at my verse of the day again but it wasn't speaking to me.  So I again began to rant and worry to Lance.  He too told me about his terrible night of studying his chemistry.  A feeling of despair flooding him as well.  Where had this all come from?  Why were we feeling this way.  I could see that he was just tired and i assured him he would be fine as he assured me I would as well.  But we still couldn't see it in ourselves.  I went to work and prayed for him as he prayed for me.  I pulled my phone out again and looked at the verse one more time.

   The Lord did not set his affection on you and choose you because you were more numerous than other peoples, for you were the fewest of all peoples.  But it was because the Lord loved you and kept the oath he swore to your ancestors that he brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the land of slavery, from the power of Pharaoh king of Egypt. --Deuteronomy 7:7-8

 Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments. --Deuteronomy 7:9
Deuteronomy 7:9 was the verse of the day and as I sat in my chair and prayed to God for peace and opened my phone again to His verse, a wave of calm came over me.  It would all be okay....
....He is God.  He is faithful.  He will keep his covenant. 
If the plan is to fail then it is because He wants it to fail.  He will have something else in store for me.  
About the time that I was going to send Lance my verse, he sent me a text telling me that he went ahead and deleted FB again.  This after we had already asked for prayer for one another.  I sent him my verse and peace just continued to come.   It would all be okay because I had a God who loved me.  

As I look at the verses before, i am encouraged.  I have since talked with my manager and co-worker and even though the wording is different, i will be able to practice.  All will be fine.  The job is still mine--like He promised.    But this job will be challenging.  I am moving from a primary care environment to a faster pace with more procedures and a broader base of knowledge.  But God will keep His oath.  

Lance too felt encouraged as he went into class.  he realized his brain was just tired but he truly did understand the material and he had gotten all of his questions correct.  But we were vulnerable.  Lance was tired.  I was overwhelmed.  We both had broke our fast.  It was a good time for an attack and sad to say, we didn't respond as we should.  Prayer and an open ear to hear.  But instead we panicked for ourselves and prayed for each other.  As we started to pray for a calming spirit within us and pray for direction, God responded in a way that our spirit could hear.  We were open to hearing the way in which He responded.  



My interview went fabulously last Monday for the private practice office.  The money was great and 3 days one week with two days the next was pretty much what I had been asking God for and they were ready for me to start as soon as possible but it wasn't right.  It's amazing how he gave me what I wanted but i didn't want it.  he had offered me something better and I knew it.  i had tried to put him in this box, asking him for what only my finite mind could comprehend but he is awe inspiring and makes beautiful things from ashes....

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

9/17/13 (day10) ...he weeps


9/17/13

Condemnation: the judicial act of declaring one guilty, and dooming him to punishment.

Verse of the Day...
Romans 8:1-2
There is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.  For the law of the Spirit has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.

Paul has spent the first chapters of Romans laying out the framework that gets us to chapter 8.  God is holy.  We are sinful.  There is a wrath for our sin.  We have a savior.  Christ died the death that should be ours and rose again.  We are justified.  We are sanctified.   This leads us to these verses in chapter 8.  Therefore...because God did all of this...because Jesus took your place...because through faith we have been made righteous and we are being made holy...therefore, there is no condemnation for those in Christ.  We are now free from sin and death.  We can look at this is two parts.  For those who are in Christ, He has already set us free and covered our sins and two, that when judgment comes, although we will face it, Christ has covered us (those in Him) and we will not be found guilty!!  Praise the Lord that He sets us free now and in the future.  
If you are apart from Christ then your wrath is still yet to come.  You are separated from God.  Christ took the wrath upon himself for those who are in Him.  He took our punishment and through faith made us right with God.  You have to believe in Him.  You have to accept Him as your savior.  God is loving.  But God is also just.  God shows us mercy but we have to be willing to “walk through the door” as seen in Noah’s days.  Christ is the only way to rid yourself of the condemnation that is sure to come.  

Thank you, Lord for taking my burden, for carrying my load.  Thank you for dying the death that should have been mine...

We don’t write of wrath to use scare tactics to get someone to follow Him.  We write of wrath because it’s a real thing.  Hell is real.  And for the believer, our heart breaks when we see someone headed for hell and God’s wrath.  It hurts to see someone recklessly living without Christ.  I remember the time when Lance saw a muslim kneeling and prostrating on his prayer rug when we were walking through the park in Chicago.  I remember seeing the fear and concern in his eyes.  In the past, he had lumped muslims all in one category, not really feeling the hurt of what their separation from Christ means.  But when he saw that one man, isolated and he actually saw him as a person and not a group, he was able to see him as God sees him.  He teared up.  He immediately wanted to pray for him, for his salvation, for God to speak to his soul and draw him near.  His heart was broken and he felt the loss this man has but doesn’t even realize.  This is how God feels.  He cries for us.  He weeps for us.  He sees us as individuals and not as a group of women, men, Americans, red heads, bar goers, cussing sailors.  He sees us separate from everyone else and He feels our pain and our sin and separation breaks his heart.  He loves us.  He loves you.  He cries for you.  As a parent who cries for her child when she sees him on a path of destruction, so is our God.  

Enclosed, I have copied the link and the writings of a physician who speaks about the physiological and anatomical changes that Jesus underwent to pay for our sins.  Through the love of our savior, we are free.  
“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friend.” John 15:13

Christ is our friend.  He gave His life for us.  Will you answer His call and submit your life to Him?



Pilate ordered Jesus brutally beaten, probably believing that such punishment would satisfy the ugly mob, but it demanded more and Jesus was delivered up to be crucified.


A Physician Testifies About the Crucifixion
by Dr. C. Truman Davis
About a decade ago, reading Jim Bishop's The Day Christ Died, I realized that I had for years taken the Crucifixion more or less for granted -- that I had grown callous to its horror by a too easy familiarity with the grim details and a too distant friendship with our Lord. It finally occurred to me that, though a physician, I didn't even know the actual immediate cause of death. The Gospel writers don't help us much on this point, because crucifixion and scourging were so common during their lifetime that they apparently considered a detailed description unnecessary. So we have only the concise words of the Evangelists: "Pilate, having scourged Jesus, delivered Him to them to be crucified -- and they crucified Him."
I have no competence to discuss the infinite psychic and spiritual suffering of the Incarnate God atoning for the sins of fallen man. But it seemed to me that as a physician I might pursue the physiological and anatomical aspects of our Lord's passonate some detail. What did the body of Jesus of Nazareth actually endure during those hours of torture?
This led me first to a study of the practice of crucifixion itself; that is, torture and execution by fixation to a cross. I am indebted to many who have studied this subject in the past, and especially to a contemporary colleague, Dr. Pierre Barbet, a French surgeon who has done exhaustive historical and experimental research and has written extensively on the subject.
Apparently, the first known practice of crucifixion was by the Persians. Alexander and his generals brought it back to the Mediterranean world -- to Egypt and to Carthage. The Romans apparently learned the practice from the Carthaginians and (as with almost everything the Romans did) rapidly developed a very high degree of efficiency and skill at it. A number of Roman authors (Livy, Cicer, Tacitus) comment on crucifixion, and several innovations, modifications, and variations are described in the ancient literature.
For instance, the upright portion of the cross (or stipes) could have the cross-arm (or patibulum) attached two or three feet below its top in what we commonly think of as the Latin cross. The most common form used in our Lord's day, however, was the Tau cross, shaped like our T. In this cross the patibulum was placed in a notch at the top of the stipes. There is archeological evidence that it was on this type of cross that Jesus was crucified.
Without any historical or biblical proof, Medieval and Renaissance painters have given us our picture of Christ carrying the entire cross. But the upright post, or stipes, was generally fixed permanently in the ground at the site of execution and the condemned man was forced to carry the patibulum, weighing about 110 pounds, from the prison to the place of execution.
Many of the painters and most of the sculptors of crucifixion, also show the nails through the palms. Historical Roman accounts and experimental work have established that the nails were driven between the small bones of the wrists (radial and ulna) and not through the palms. Nails driven through the palms will strip out between the fingers when made to support the weight of the human body. The misconception may have come about through a misunderstanding of Jesus' words to Thomas, "Observe my hands." Anatomists, both modern and ancient, have always considered the wrist as part of the hand.
A titulus, or small sign, stating the victim's crime was usually placed on a staff, carried at the front of the procession from the prison, and later nailed to the cross so that it extended above the head. This sign with its staff nailed to the top of the cross would have given it somewhat the characteristic form of the Latin cross.
But, of course, the physical passion of the Christ began in Gethsemane. Of the many aspects of this initial suffering, the one of greatest physiological interest is the bloody sweat. It is interesting that St. Luke, the physician, is the only one to mention this. He says, "And being in Agony, He prayed the longer. And His sweat became as drops of blood, trickling down upon the ground."
Every ruse (trick) imaginable has been used by modern scholars to explain away this description, apparently under the mistaken impression that this just doesn't happen. A great deal of effort could have been saved had the doubters consulted the medical literature. Though very rare, the phenomenon of Hematidrosis, or bloody sweat, is well documented. Under great emotional stress of the kind our Lord suffered, tiny capillaries in the sweat glands can break, thus mixing blood with sweat. This process might well have produced marked weakness and possible shock.
After the arrest in the middle of the night, Jesus was next brought before the Sanhedrin and Caiphus, the High Priest; it is here that the first physical trauma was inflicted. A soldier struck Jesus across the face for remaining silent when questioned by Caiphus. The palace guards then blind-folded Him and mockingly taunted Him to identify them as they each passed by, spat upon Him, and struck Him in the face.
In the early morning, battered and bruised, dehydrated, and exhausted from a sleepless night, Jesus is taken across the Praetorium of the Fortress Antonia, the seat of government of the Procurator of Judea, Pontius Pilate. You are, of course, familiar with Pilate's action in attempting to pass responsibility to Herod Antipas, the Tetrarch of Judea. Jesus apparently suffered no physical mistreatment at the hands of Herod and was returned to Pilate. It was in response to the cries of the mob, that Pilate ordered Bar-Abbas released and condemned Jesus to scourging and crucifixion.
There is much disagreement among authorities about the unusual scourging as a prelude to crucifixion. Most Roman writers from this period do not associate the two. Many scholars believe that Pilate originally ordered Jesus scourged as his full punishment and that the death sentence by crucifixion came only in response to the taunt by the mob that the Procurator was not properly defending Caesar against this pretender who allegedly claimed to be the King of the Jews.
Preparations for the scourging were carried out when the Prisoner was stripped of His clothing and His hands tied to a post above His head. It is doubtful the Romans would have made any attempt to follow the Jewish law in this matter, but the Jews had an ancient law prohibiting more than forty lashes.
The Roman legionnaire steps forward with the flagrum (or flagellum) in his hand. This is a short whip consisting of several heavy, leather thongs with two small balls of lead attached near the ends of each. The heavy whip is brought down with full force again and again across Jesus' shoulders, back, and legs. At first the thongs cut through the skin only. Then, as the blows continue, they cut deeper into the subcutaneous tissues, producing first an oozing of blood from the capillaries and veins of the skin, and finally spurting arterial bleeding from vessels in the underlying muscles.
The small balls of lead first produce large, deep bruises which are broken open by subsequent blows. Finally the skin of the back is hanging in long ribbons and the entire area is an unrecognizable mass of torn, bleeding tissue. When it is determined by the centurion in charge that the prisoner is near death, the beating is finally stopped.
The half-fainting Jesus is then untied and allowed to slump to the stone pavement, wet with His own blood. The Roman soldiers see a great joke in this provincial Jew claiming to be king. They throw a robe across His shoulders and place a stick in His hand for a scepter. They still need a crown to make their travesty complete. Flexible branches covered with long thorns (commonly used in bundles for firewood) are plaited into the shape of a crown and this is pressed into His scalp. Again there is copious bleeding, the scalp being one of the most vascular areas of the body.
After mocking Him and striking Him across the face, the soldiers take the stick from His hand and strike Him across the head, driving the thorns deeper into His scalp. Finally, they tire of their sadistic sport and the robe is torn from His back. Already having adhered to the clots of blood and serum in the wounds, its removal causes excruciating pain just as in the careless removal of a surgical bandage, and almost as though He were again being whipped the wounds once more begin to bleed.
In deference to Jewish custom, the Romans return His garments. The heavy patibulum of the cross is tied across His shoulders, and the procession of the condemned Christ, two thieves, and the execution detail of Roman soldiers headed by a centurion begins its slow journey along the Via Dolorosa. In spite of His efforts to walk erect, the weight of the heavy wooden beam, together with the shock produced by copious blood loss, is too much. He stumbles and falls. The rough wood of the beam gouges into the lacerated skin and muscles of the shoulders. He tries to rise, but human muscles have been pushed beyond their endurance.
The centurion, anxious to get on with the crucifixion, selects a stalwart North African onlooker, Simon of Cyrene, to carry the cross. Jesus follows, still bleeding and sweating the cold, clammy sweat of shock, until the 650 yard journey from the fortress Antonia to Golgotha is finally completed.
Jesus is offered wine mixed with myrrh, a mild analgesic mixture. He refuses to drink. Simon is ordered to place the patibulum on the ground and Jesus quickly thrown backward with His shoulders against the wood. The legionnaire feels for the depression at the front of the wrist. He drives a heavy, square, wrought-iron nail through the wrist and deep into the wood. Quickly, he moves to the other side and repeats the action being careful not to pull the arms to tightly, but to allow some flexion and movement. The patibulum is then lifted in place at the top of the stipes and the titulus reading "Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews" is nailed in place.
The left foot is now pressed backward against the right foot, and with both feet extended, toes down, a nail is driven through the arch of each, leaving the knees moderately flexed. The Victim is now crucified. As He slowly sags down with more weight on the nails in the wrists excruciating pain shoots along the fingers and up the arms to explode in the brain -- the nails in the writs are putting pressure on the median nerves. As He pushes Himself upward to avoid this stretching torment, He places His full weight on the nail through His feet. Again there is the searing agony of the nail tearing through the nerves between the metatarsal bones of the feet.
At this point, as the arms fatigue, great waves of cramps sweep over the muscles, knotting them in deep, relentless, throbbing pain. With these cramps comes the inability to push Himself upward. Hanging by his arms, the pectoral muscles are paralyzed and the intercostal muscles are unable to act. Air can be drawn into the lungs, but cannot be exhaled. Jesus fights to raise Himself in order to get even one short breath. Finally, carbon dioxide builds up in the lungs and in the blood stream and the cramps partially subside. Spasmodically, he is able to push Himself upward to exhale and bring in the life-giving oxygen. It was undoubtedly during these periods that He uttered the seven short sentences recorded:
The first, looking down at the Roman soldiers throwing dice for His seamless garment, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do."
The second, to the penitent thief, "Today thou shalt be with me in Paradise."
The third, looking down at the terrified, grief-stricken adolescent John -- the beloved Apostle -- he said, "Behold thy mother." Then, looking to His mother Mary, "Woman behold thy son."
The fourth cry is from the beginning of the 22nd Psalm, "My God, my God, why has thou forsaken me?"
Hours of limitless pain, cycles of twisting, joint-rending cramps, intermittent partial asphyxiation, searing pain where tissue is torn from His lacerated back as He moves up and down against the rough timber. Then another agony begins...A terrible crushing pain deep in the chest as the pericardium slowly fills with serum and begins to compress the heart.
One remembers again the 22nd Psalm, the 14th verse: "I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint; my heart is like wax; it is melted in the midst of my bowels."
It is now almost over. The loss of tissue fluids has reached a critical level; the compressed heart is struggling to pump heavy, thick, sluggish blood into the tissue; the tortured lungs are making a frantic effort to gasp in small gulps of air. The markedly dehydrated tissues send their flood of stimuli to the brain.
Jesus gasps His fifth cry, "I thirst."
One remembers another verse from the prophetic 22nd Psalm: "My strength is dried up like a potsherd; and my tongue cleaveth to my jaws; and thou has brought me into the dust of death."
A sponge soaked in posca, the cheap, sour wine which is the staple drink of the Roman legionaries, is lifted to His lips. He apparently doesn't take any of the liquid. The body of Jesus is now in extremes, and He can feel the chill of death creeping through His tissues. This realization brings out His sixth words, possibly little more than a tortured whisper, "It is finished."
His mission of atonement has completed. Finally He can allow his body to die.
With one last surge of strength, he once again presses His torn feet against the nail, straightens His legs, takes a deeper breath, and utters His seventh and last cry, "Father! Into thy hands I commit my spirit."
The rest you know. In order that the Sabbath not be profaned, the Jews asked that the condemned men be dispatched and removed from the crosses. The common method of ending a crucifixion was by crurifracture, the breaking of the bones of the legs. This prevented the victim from pushing himself upward; thus the tension could not be relieved from the muscles of the chest and rapid suffocation occurred. The legs of the two thieves were broken, but when the soldiers came to Jesus they saw that this was unnecessary.
Apparently to make doubly sure of death, the legionnaire drove his lance through the fifth interspace between the ribs, upward through the pericardium and into the heart. The 34th verse of the 19th chapter of the Gospel according to St. John reports: "And immediately there came out blood and water." That is, there was an escape of water fluid from the sac surrounding the heart, giving postmortem evidence that Our Lord died not the usual crucifixion death by suffocation, but of heart failure (a broken heart) due to shock and constriction of the heart by fluid in the pericardium.
Thus we have had our glimpse -- including the medical evidence -- of that epitome of evil which man has exhibited toward Man and toward God. It has been a terrible sight, and more than enough to leave us despondent and depressed. How grateful we can be that we have the great sequel in the infinite mercy of God toward man -- at once the miracle of the atonement (at one ment) and the expectation of the triumphant Easter morning.

Dr. C. Truman Davis is a nationally respected Opthalmologist, vice president of the American Association of Ophthalmology, and an active figure in the Christian schools movement. He is founder and president of the excellent Trinity Christian School in Mesa Arizona, and a trustee of Grove City College.
I'm so thankful to God for sending me this man.  He has truly grown in his walk with Christ (even with a tongue hanging out!)