When you are praying for a Bible church who preaches the Bible and uses the Bible to make it relevant and you pray to God for a pastor who studies the hermeneutics of scripture and you show up to a new church after listening to several sermons of the lead pastor preaching the Bible, still having hesitation and reservations and then you get to hear the associate pastor preach and he actually says "while studying the hermeneutics" during his sermon, all you can say is "I hear you, God. I hear you". ...and so was my experience this past Sunday.
For sometime, we have been considering a new church. For sometime we have been hungry for more...more relationships, deeper teaching, a spiritual growing. We went to the midtown campus while living in Tulsa and found it to be smaller but still not the family type environment we felt at our first church that Lance and I grew exponentially in and the church where we found some of our best friendships. We got to know one person while we were there. Then we moved back to the main campus because it just seemed to make sense. It was in the same town we lived in. It was the home church of our community group and it was an easy drive for Gabe and I. But still, we felt not at home. It was even more of a lost feeling. The pastor tucked away, in and out for preaching. Seating difficult to find as well as the parking. We felt like just another face. (Now don't get me wrong. I believe Big churches are great but it wasn't working for me.) I missed the community feel that I fell in love with during my days at Fusion. I missed the quirkiness but spirit filled singing of Dwayne where at times he stumbled through some words but it never mattered because he was singing to God and not us. Or the beautiful voice of my best friend, Stephanie, who stood beside me on my wedding day singing a song of praise. I missed baking the cookies for Sunday morning, making the tea, being a good host. I missed the intimate setting where my pastor knew every single person's name and we went to lunch together, celebrated birthdays together, had community together. I missed my husband wanting to linger after church to hang out with his friends and talk about manly things with men he had found common interests with. My soul was crying, breaking, longing for the things of yesteryear that I know can never be he again but surely there had to be some common ground.
And so brings me to Sunday. When I walked into The Gathering, I instantly felt at home. Meeting in the Thoreau Demonstration Academy with pop up signs, it had the feel of a developing church plant. Friendly faces greeted those coming through the door. I could definitely help with set up on Sundays. Orange juice, coffee, and mini muffins were also a welcome sign of a church who wants to be inviting. I could totally see myself making cookies for this church. The children's church was down the hall in a classroom with a baby gate blocking the door to Gabe's class. We couldn't enter the "sanctuary" (auditorium) until 1020 due to the need for set up and practice so people congregated in the front giving hellos, hugs and how have you beens." The lead pastor rushed by us but stopped to say hello and good morning. Upon entering the sanctuary, it was quaint. Big enough to allow for newcomer space but not so large that you felt like a face lost in the sea. The music shortly began. At first, I'm drawn to the uniqueness and peculiarity of the worship leader's voice. It's different but it's good. Then I scan the stage. A full band. A violin...well, that is a blessing that hadn't been on a search list but definitely makes me excited. The music is good. It's familiar. Even the song that isn't speaks to my soul. Without truly scanning the room, I can tell people are raising their hands in worship, I can hear the clapping on the glorious triumphant proclamation that Jesus has conquered the grave, that Jesus covers my sin. I can see the people dancing. The Spirit of God is in this room. Then on the last song, down in front, I see a man with both hands raised, dancing, almost jumping then he does it. He jumps, he lets out a celebratory yell and I feel the Spirit leap in me. The Spirit of God has met us here in this room where during the week, assemblies are held, plays are had. He is here. Then this guy in front moves down to the front and begins speaking. At first, I'm a little disappointed as I knew he was not the lead pastor. But then I'm reassured as I had heard the lead pastor speak before and this would show me what I would hear when he was gone. We take time to greet one another and again I feel the connection to Fusion. People know we are new. There's no guessing. Names are exchanged. We are welcomed. I actually feel welcomed. Then the preaching begins. Still talking about David as has been the series I had been following at home. He reads out of second Samuel with some corny church humor of where that's located and then continues the story of David and Bethsheba. It's all Bible. It's all scripture. Over to Psalms to read of David's thoughts during these times, back to second Samuel. Back to Psalms. See how it correlates. One brief personal story of his own struggle with the weight of sin and back to second Samuel. And then the glorious bringing back to Jesus. The band comes back, we take communion. Couples holding the cups, speaking out to every single person individually, "Christ body broken for you. Christ blood shed for you." And then on a little platform as I look to my right, it's just like Fusion, people kneeling, praying, thanking God. So badly I wanted to join and kneel but I could already feel the tears swelling and I just couldn't let that be my first experience. I should have just went. Instead, I went back to my seat. Prayed and thanked Jesus for all that He has done and almost screamed along with the music. This is where I feel I belong. I heard Him loud and clear. Lance is so excited to come with me and hopefully in 2 weeks, he will be able to take off and join Gabe and I for a full Sunday of togetherness. OH!! And they are also having a men's retreat which involves, camping, woods, 4-wheelers and shooting guns. I think Lance will fit in;).
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you."--Psalm 32:8
And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.-- Isaiah 30:21
Thank you, Lord, for listening, for guiding, for making me pay attention to that trailer parked out by the road in that empty parking lot that made me look up that church. I pray you lead me, keep me and that you shine your face upon me. I love you, Lord. It is my desire to be where you want me. Continue to show me.
I pray you are listening to the Lord and going where He leads. I pray that if you are struggling with this same dilemma as I have that He too will be gracious and show you the way.
Take the lead and I will follow
Finally ready now
To close my eyes and just believe
That You won't lead me
Where You don't go .....let me pray this daily, Lord.
No comments:
Post a Comment