the wait in us...

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
    Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning?

O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer,
    and by night, but I find no rest.  --Psalm 22:1-2

We have been studying the story of Joseph over the last few weeks in our series entitled “Overcome.”  Today, Pastor Alex gave me a terrific quote/piece of advice/self examination tool.  Call it what you will...

Why is it so hard to remain patient?  Because too often we feel forgotten. 

I wrote the words down quickly.  In too many places in my life, I could easily apply this.  From something simple--waiting in line at Quik-trip, knowing it was my turn but I was “overlooked” as they waited on the people around me.  Or the time when we were in Aruba and all I needed was a pen so I could write down info for our roof replacement.  I went to the “guest services” desk and was referred to the front desk.  I waited in line at the front desk for 15 minutes, then a guy came up from the side, questioned the bell-hop for some change who then interrupted the only guy working at the front desk which then placed an even longer wait.  Instances like these, I get so worked up.  Did you not see me standing here?  Clearly, I was next.  IT’S MY TURN!!  I completely lose my patience.  Sometimes I say something very passive aggressively.  Sometimes my poor husband has to hear all about it because even though it bothered me to no end, I still said nothing and continued to be “overlooked” or “forgotten.”  And then there are those serious times when I am questioning God... Why are we going through this colic phase again?  We did this.  Remember, we did this once before.  We made it through the colic only to meet the worst end.  Couldn’t you please heal the colic this time around?  Did you forget?  One in five babies have colic.  We were 2 for 2.  Hello, up there.  Or the...seriously, it’s my turn to be pregnant.  You keep showing me all of these moms with bellies, new babies and still nothing for me.  Remember, we lost ours?  We are needing a little something here.  Have you forgotten me?  ...and those weren’t even serious waiting times.  Gabe had colic for the typical 3 months.  Between losing Gideon and becoming pregnant with Gabe, we waited a total of approximately 6 months.  That’s it.  I have friends who waited years to become pregnant and some who are still waiting.  I have friends who lost children to genetic disorders only to lose another.  

But still, in my circumstance, in my self centeredness, I question, “have you forgotten?”  

The Bible says that He knows us.  

“You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.

You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”

even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” 

--Psalm 139:1-13

But in my self pity, in my self loathing, I quickly forget.  I forget that He has promised me good.  I forget that the work that He is doing in me now is preparing me for something in the future.  I forget.  Patience stinks.  Patience especially stinks when there is hurt involved.  And it stinks even more when there is hurt involved and we think our Healer has forgotten us.  

But we can look to the Psalms and remember that He KNOWS us.  He knows our wants, our desires, our needs but more so, He knows what is best.  Joseph is a true depiction of someone who consistently seemingly is being “forgotten.”  Constantly, he is forgotten by those he lives with, works for, gives hope to.  And if not knowing the whole story, we could easily look and think that God has too forgotten Joseph.  But Joseph keeps on.  Through his waiting, he is patient.  He continues with his work for God.  Like Pastor Alex said, though his circumstances continued to change from good to bad and full circle again and again, Joseph knew who he was in God and he held on to that throughout all of his days.  

So as we continue on this journey we call “life,” like Joseph, I will try to remember who I am in Christ because although my circumstances may change, my God is my foundation and my salvation and through Him I can have JOY.  Glory to Christ that through His death, I will never be forsaken.  

If you are looking for a home church, I would love to invite you to our church, theChurch.at/midtown check it out.  We would love to save you a seat and grab some lunch!  We go to the 11:30 service so we have plenty of time for lazy, family , pancake making Sunday mornings:-) 

Daddy catching Gabe as he jumps off the rock wall at church.  He's always so excited to go and see his friends.