“This I declare about the LORD: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him.” —Psalm 91:2
Music has this enchanting quality that can stop us in our tracks, captivate our thoughts and take us to a place we didn’t realize we were even headed. Since losing Gideon, music has meant so much more than just a catchy hook or danceable beat. I have songs that remind me of him because that is what we would always play or I would always sing to him. There are songs that cripple me, songs that give me hope. And when it comes to Christian music, I’m thankful that even though it rips open those scars, it still points me back to Jesus.
It’s the month of his birth and every year, I feel like it sneaks up on me. I know it’s coming but it seems to come so fast. And when it’s not even on the forefront of my thoughts, BAM, it hits me. Driving in the car, I hear a song and instantly, I’m transported back to 2010, holding my first son, feeling that joy, smelling that sweet baby smell, seeing his smile, then 2011 and watching his laugh, discovering his personality, getting that call, walking those halls, crying out to God, leaving with an empty carseat. This year, that song was “Even So” by Mercy Me.
“I know You're able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone
They say it only takes a little faith
To move a mountain
Well good thing
A little faith is all I have, right now
But God, when You choose
To leave mountains unmovable
Oh give me the strength to be able to sing
It is well with my soul”
This was us, standing next to that ICU bed, holding onto hope, holding onto the child who lay in front of us, intubated and sedated. That was us, knowing that He could heal him but also knowing that He may not. So driving home, tears flooded my face. Not only was that us, it is still us. In times like that, on his birthday, on March 8-10th every year, we still stand there and pray for the strength to praise Him. And in those times, these songs I remember because these songs remind me of his Word.
As we are planning for the new house, I have decided that we will have lots of song lyrics/scripture on the walls, on counters because this is how we get through. These words point us to the Word and this always bring me back to Jesus. I thought I would take the time to share as we prepare to celebrate Gideon’s birthday and later this month the birth of our Savior, some of the words I hold onto.
Shortly after we lost him, God gave us this song and even though I knew the verse, when it was put to music it was something I can sing out at the top of my lungs in opposition to the enemy, in victory that even though we lost Gideon, Hell has no victory.
“O death, where is your sting?
O hell, where is your victory?” —Christ is Risen, Matt Maher
And this points me to the actual scripture:
“O death, where is your sting? O grave, where is your victory?” --1 Corinthians 15:55
What was meant for evil in our lives, what could have totally ripped Lance and I apart, broken our spirit, turned us from God, only drew us closer. Closer to one another, closer to Christ. And one day, that grave will bear no hurt because God has defeated death and one day I will see my son again.
And this pattern of thinking is the same path I take when I see the words:
“Ain’t no grave gonna hold me down.” —Ain’t No Grave, Crowder
And finally,
“But even if you don’t, my hope is you alone.”—Even If, Mercy Me.
The song goes on to sing about how He has been faithful and good all of our days and I will cling to Him. And this, I remember. It is not God’s nature to hurt me. Too many times He has been good. Too many times, He has been faithful and pulled me through situations that only were God directed. And so even if He doesn’t do what I ask, what I plead, I will still choose Him versus the many idols this world tries to set up in His place.
Directs you to:
"If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire; and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up." —Daniel 3:17-18
I pray this post leaves you feeling blessed, feeling renewed, armed with some words of good songs that point to even better scripture that help you get through those times when you feel all is lost. I tell you now, all is not lost. We have a hope. We have a God who came for us. A God who became vulnerable and walked along side us, who now is in us. We serve a God who suffered a death that was meant for us, a God who took the death we deserved even though He did not. This month we will celebrate the birth of Gideon but more importantly we will celebrate the birth of Jesus. On Christmas morning, I pray you take a look around at those near you, hug them tight and sing Jesus the loudest Happiest Birthday song you have ever heard because without Him all is lost. Praise God we have Jesus.
“This I declare about the LORD: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him.” —Psalm 91:2
I trust you, Lord that you have saved me, that you have rescued me. I trust in your promise that one day I will see You face to face and as I stand there recalling all of the times I doubted, all the times I have failed, You will cup my face, make Your light shine upon me and tell me, “Think of that no more.(The Silver Chair). Then in all of your glory, I will again see my son. I trust you.
I see so much of Cadence in these photos. She is this perfect blend of Gideon and Gabe yet still her own little person.
