His blood has already overcame...

“They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.”  Revelation 12:11

I have spent the last three days at work.  I work a 12 hour shift that starts at noon.  It should end at midnight but sometimes, like last night, it doesn’t end until 1:30ish in the AM.  It makes for an exhausting day because not only did I stay almost 14 hours but something had to happen in that first 12 that made it impossible to complete all of my charting by the time midnight rolled around.  I had one of those days where you just couldn’t complete a thought.  I would set out to discharge “A” then “B” comes rolling through the door and then “C” is calling on the phone and so on.  And even though I had left 30 minutes before on what should only take a 10 minute trip, I was unable to get coffee since apparently 1130 on Saturday is when everyone wants their Flat White from Starbucks and there were lines out the door for the inside and around the building for the drive thru.  I felt tugged in every direction.  I felt unproductive, overwhelmed and poorly utilized.  I felt drained.  So this morning I was cranky.  I spent the entire ride to church griping about my yesterday.  I actually spent my entire morning that Lance and I were in ear shot of another griping about my yesterday.  (To which my husband replies, "you can always go back to seeing 4's and 5's, day in and out, one after another.  He's always good at pointing out my alternatives!")  We got to church late because I was too busy running my mouth to put forth the attention to being on time.  Then I get to church in time to hear the band play their last song before the sermon and this video plays....

21

...and tears just stream down my face.  Big tears.  Alligator tears.  My griping had been so futile.  My bad day was nothing in comparison to those surrendering their lives to hold true to their Jesus.  Then we sang.  

“We will overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony” and it sank in even more.  My bad day was nothing.  Alligator tears.  I didn’t just cry.  I wept.  i went to my knees and prayed.  I prayed for those families.  I prayed for those facing death because they will not renounce their faith.  I prayed for those Christians.  It was dirty y’all.  Snotty, big tear weeping in my church aisle.  

As God laid these 21 martyrs on my heart, I recalled other stories of martyrdom, some recent and some old.  I thought about those people who gave up their lives because of their faith in Jesus.  I’m here.  It doesn’t always sink in as deep as it should but today it hit me hard.  We are here and we get the occasional joke thrown at us about how believing is ridiculous or people gripe because “us Christians” are too intolerant and restrictive and we don’t know how to have fun.  And sometimes I gripe about the mockery that ensues but my God has big shoulders and I can find refuge in Him.  But this, this is hard to find refuge in.  Then the verse comes across the screen.  

“They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.”  Revelation 12:11

They did not shrink from death.  These 21 were barely men.  All 21 in their early to mid 20’s.  They had fled their country in search of food and work for their families.  They loved Christ.   They died because of only the last statement.  Could you imagine?  How easy for them to just say, “you know what, this whole Jesus thing isn’t worth it.  My atheist friends try to tell me I’m foolish anyways for believing in a super-being.  My co-exist friends tell me that we all just need to get along and I shouldn’t be so exclusive in my choice of religion.  Maybe they’re right.  Maybe it’s not worth dying over.”  But they didn’t.  Although they were kneeling, they stood in front of death and gave their life in the name of Jesus.    

Though my heart was breaking, my God’s resounding words were ringing true.  All is not lost.  There is no sting in death.  Hell has no victory.  Through the blood of the Lamb we will overcome.  OVERCOME.  

I pray the church will be revived.  I pray those words you see in the video.  “May their sacrifice lead our hearts to repentance.  May the blood of the martyrs, be the seed for a revived church.”    

Simplify…for your burden is heavy...

“There is nothing better for a person than that he should eat and drink and find enjoyment in his toil. This also, I saw, is from the hand of God...”   Ecclesiastes 2:24

Today is day one of 4 days off in a row, one of the many reasons I have come to love my job.  As I started to sit down and write this, I heard Gabe start coughing and making some noises.  I went in to check on him and he was full of snot and wanted to be rocked.  So we blew his nose and we rocked.  I love holding him anytime but I love holding him in the middle of the night.  He just lets me hold him.  No playing with a plane or my necklace or asking me questions.  He’s still.  He’s quiet.  I can soak all of his 2 year old self up.  I watch him as I hold him.  His small hand holding mine.  His blonde eyelashes against his cheeks.  His little body curled up in my lap, warm and cozied up, cradled and loved.  It’s moments like these that can’t be captured with a camera that I never want to forget.  

Our series at church continues with “Simplify”.  Today, our sermon was related to our work.   Are we finding fulfillment in our work?  Is our work beneficial?  This journey since losing Gideon has been paved with lots of speed bumps, peaks, valleys, cliffs... but God has continued to be faithful through it all.  Lance and I have struggled to find our fit and to maintain a balance within and outside of the home that would work for our family.  Lance recently went through a lengthy and very detailed hiring process to go back into law enforcement.  It amazed me as we sat down and talked why he ultimately left and chose professions to begin with.  We had talked about it and for many reasons we felt like he needed a change but ultimately he was sacrificing for me.  After losing Gideon, I never wanted to work again or at least not full time and barely part time.  I didn’t have any idea how I would ever find a job that would fit more of a stay at home mom schedule.  So Lance ultimately quit so that he could pursue a job where he could make more money so I would not have to work.  The only problem with that...Lance is made to be a police officer.  It is in his blood.  He loves it.  Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” If you have ever heard Pastor Himaya talk about this then you know that this can be translated to “the way he is bent” relating to an archery term and meaning, for example, if your child is artistic, don’t push them to be a scientist when they grow up and et cetera.  And this is what I feel Lance was trying to do to himself and I didn’t even see it happening.  He does love science and learning more about the function of the human body but his passion is in police work.  And although he tried to focus on a bigger paycheck and medicine, he was still yearning for what he had left behind.  So in 22 days he will begin a career with a new department.  But I tell you, this past year and a half has not been for nothing.  I have a new job that allows me to be home more often but still allows me to practice medicine and care for sick babies and had he not left Muskogee, I probably would not have either.  He gained the college hours that he needed to qualify for his current department and now he will be closer to home.  I can’t argue with any of those perks and I know the boulders in the road have been worth it!   

We talked about our skills, passion and opportunities and how when those come together we find our sweet spot.  One day, I dream I will be able to go on that mission trip to Egypt and I know I will then be able to use all of those medical skills and passions I have inside of me but until then I get to use them here at work.  But there is more to that sweet spot and “work” than just your work.  If you have ever come to a party of Gabe’s or came over for an after church gathering, you may have noticed that I love to be in the kitchen.  I love to cook, to bake and to party plan.  I enjoy seeing everyone with full bellies, going for more, laughing and talking.  I love seeing the kids playing and having fun while their parents get to engage in adult conversations.  I love being a host.  I’m not social by any means.  My introvert personality doesn’t allow much room for that but I love large gatherings where I can just watch and see everyone having a good time.  One of the reasons I am so excited about having a house again is so we can entertain again.  I love having Sunday after church gatherings, community group and game nights and it’s just not that doable in this tiny apartment with a two top table.  

We also hit on what keeps a person in their current work environment.   My gut instinct would be money but I know that isn’t true for myself.  I definitely made more per my tax returns in my previous job but I also worked more and sacrificed more time away from home.  I got into this job because it worked with a schedule that I wanted for our family and I felt good about the people I interviewed with.  It has proven to be an amazing opportunity and just a few months ago, I told one of my friends that I was no longer looking at the job opportunities that are delivered daily to my email because I was so happy where I was.  So back to what keeps us there...why do I never want to leave??  The number one reason people stay where they are is their co-workers.  I can definitely say this is my number one.  I love who I work with.  We have this little PEC family and I feel like we are supportive and caring of one another and we actually like each other!  #2 is freedom.  I definitely have freedom within work itself but more importantly  within my schedule which is important to me.  #3 work culture.  Have you ever worked at a place where the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife?  You didn’t know if your boss or even co-worker was going to be in his manic phase or depressive phase and if it was manic, was it going to be over the top good or bad?  yeah, those are no fun.  Laid back, let’s get the job done and do it right but have a good time doing it, that’s our work culture and it makes it enjoyable to come in and do my job.   The number 4 reason people stay where they are is variety.  Again, I’ve been in the paper pushing same thing day in and day out and it does get old.  We need challenges, change, an occasional zebra without the burnout of over stimulation but also without the boredom drain of the mundane.  So, you can see money isn’t there in those top 4 reasons of why people stay in their current work environment.  Money may get you there but you can make money anywhere.  I had 3 other opportunities when i accepted this job that paid relatively the same amount, if not more than this job but I don’t regret my decision at all or think “what if” because I truly enjoy my job because of those things listed 1-4.  

Finally I will finish with this....  God wants us to be fulfilled through our work.  he designed us to work.  That work may entail many different roles and responsibilities but we are made to work and like Ecclesiastes says, “There is nothing better for a person than that he should eat and drink and find enjoyment in his toil...”   God gave us skills and passion to use for God’s glory so whether you are a stay at home mom, a part-time receptionist or full time nurse He wants to work through you.  We are called to be missionaries before all things...before being a spouse, a mother, an employee.  We are to be the witness of Jesus.   What is your work and who are you witnessing to?